Primal Fear

There is something that keeps me awake at night, something that keeps me glued to my bed in the morning, something that makes me want to run from every place I find myself, something that makes me frown when I want to smile, something that makes me want to invisible better still not to exist at all, something that makes me find a strange completeness in the silent solitude I seek. It’s a fear, a fear etched so deep that it must be fed, so deep in fact that it has become synonymous with my existence more like an addiction. But its still a fear with a cause only, I don’t know what it is.

If you look around fear is what makes our little world go around, fear of a back that makes us attend classes, fear of others succeeding that makes us study or enter into “organizational” activities, fear of a lack of knowledge is what drives the majma put on by profs, there is no count of how many couples have fallen prey to the fear of public opinion (or standards if u please).

Inherently, I don’t think I suffer from any of these, and whatever my rodent friend believes I think I am pretty good at analyzing my own problems which has led me with only two explanations on the issue. First, the time to move on is coming along quickly and in the absence of a clear path forward all I want to do is lay still. Second, in spite of the second looks and smiles, I think I might be talking to a laptop in the middle of the night again.