The Summer series(SS): Night before it all began

ACHTUNG: Pure crap ahead!!

Let me set this up for you; I had arrived in Delhi early in the morning and was due to leave for Frankfurt in the night. So as you can imagine it’s was pretty hectic. Between packing, pretending to listen to my parents giving endless advice and collecting my sisters ever longer shopping lists I hardly had time to breathe.But the thing that was bothering me most was I had made a promise to myself about Fiona and not kept it.

Brain2: You said you would do something by the end of the semester.
Brain1: Dude she is super committed. Plus I don’t want to join the long list of people wagging their tails behind her.
Brain2: Ok, tell that to her the next time she stares at you. At least it will start a conversation.
Brain1: The staring means nothing; there are a lot of girls that look back.
Brain2: Ya, but this is the only one that you wanted to ask out. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?
Brain1: About that, I think she isn’t tall enough.
Brain2: I hope you die alone, no, I know you will die alone.

Later I found myself in the all too familiar surroundings of Amar Colony, (for further info read Asses for the masses) looking for ready to eat food, coz I knew there was a better chance of India winning the football world cup than my cooking a decent meal. At this point a super hot girl walks by.

Brain1: WOW! She is super hot and tall too.
Brain2: Ok then, go and talk to her.
Brain1: What!!! Are you out of your mind, pun intended.
Brain2: Donate your genitals, seriously there is no point, you obviously won’t ask anyone out and it has been proven over and over again no girl will make the first move.
Brain1: You are right; if I see her again I will go talk to her.
Brain2: Ya sure like you talked to Fiona.

At this point you should be able to guess what happened because there would be no point to write all this if it hadn’t. While I was placing my order for what was to be my last plate of tikki for a long time, I saw her again. This time I was determined to do something, so with all the strength I had left, I pushed through the wall of well fed- middle aged women that seems to surround every tikki and chat walla in Delhi and went after her.

“Excuse me”
‘Ya’

Brain1: Think; something smart, something funny, something that will sweep her off her feet.
Brain2: Please don’t, half the world knows what happened last time.

“I think you are really gorgeous”
‘Err, thanks’

Brain1: What now? And stop shaking.

“So..can I have your phone number or email”
‘Well, I am not going to hand my email to anyone. Have we met before? How do you know me’
“I don’t just saw you here”
‘Wow, that’s a bit weird. What’s your name? What do you do?’

Brain1: See I told you it was crazy.
Brain2: Shut up and answere the question.

“My name is .....”
‘Ok, so are you here with your friends? Do have some time now?’
“No, I am just here for some last minute shopping I got a flight tonight. So I have no time.”

Brain2: So you have no time for her, real smooth.
Brain1: It’s the truth.

‘ok’

What followed can only be described as a pregnant pause (see Coupling ).

Brain2: Well done Harishchandra. Now what?
Brain1: think, think, think.

“Ok maybe you can give me your name and a few details and I can find you on Orkut then if you don’t like my profile you can block me or something”
‘Ok that can work’

Brain1: That went okay.
Brain2: I am just happy you didn’t ask for where she bought those shorts or shirt or something similar to last time.


For those wondering what happened:

She turned out to be 18, a fashion designing student and also a part time model. Unfortunately also super committed. We chatted a couple of times, but for some mysterious reason she decided to ignore a couple of my pings. The Freak thought it was because her boyfriend might have told her to, I just thought she was rude. What was more unfortunate was that this happened right in the middle of my week from hell (more to come on that) and I was in no mood to take crap. So I started to go offline as soon as she was online (The fact that I was surrounded by much hotter women may also have contributed) This was not well received and I am pretty sure I am blocked now. (Hence the blog!!) But it’s all right, or as a very scary and very drunk bald German man told me at a lake side BBQ:

“Es gibt eine Menge sexy Hündinnen in der Welt. Sie nicht Ihre Zeit über ein”

And of course I still have to work on Fiona.