Asses for the Masses

The Cambridge Advanced learners dictionary defines ass(or more correctly arse) as the part of the body you sit on, but this seemingly natural extension of the thighs has an unnaturally large bearing on our lives which its modest meaning is unable to convey. An example.
Walking through Amar colony (which means sharing whatever is left of the road by hawkers with luxury cars,motorcycles devoid of silencers, honking auto-rikshaws, rikshaws doing wheelies, seemingly bendable cycles, khooni prams,three legged cows, the omnipresent dogs not to mention fellow pedestrians all moving together and cutting accross each other in such a manner that will make you believe in god) for the n+1 th time during the summer hols my Friend asked me a question which each man must answere before he can fully move on with his life, Are you an ass man? I answered that I was not in the habit of indivisually assesing parts of the female anatomy. Hearing this he launched into one of the longest monologues known to mankind about how asses were not as important to him of which I didn't hear a word because I was looking at a pair of shorts moving majestically in mid air some way ahead of me.
So, am I an ass man? According to the immortal Jeff Murdoch "man loved asses so much that god had to put them on backwards to avoid him staring at them all the time", to answere the question: I don't know. We never discussed asses much during aur school days as it turns out those open ended white skirts can act as great leveller for bottoms. As far as Roorkee goes the parakeet from DOMS still takes the cake even though there have been some notable additions. But what really got me going an asses was Thomso more specifically the vogue prelims lets just say that I have never been happier that a girl was walking away from me. The question remains
Are you an ass man?, Maybe the answere is 42